16.

Flingshot Through the Heart

Me and Milo are currently fighting over the Flingshot Flying Chicken that came in my Easter basket. First of all, it’s totally mine—because I’m the human and because he already has a chicken. But even if he didn’t already have his own chicken, there’s no way I’d give up Flingshot. The Flingshot Flying Chicken can soar over 50 feet, letting out a chickeny call-o-joy every time he takes flight. I just tested it make sure that the sound really is a “chickeny call-o-joy” (which it totally is) and Milo made a dive for it, forcing me to yell out, “No. It’s MY chicken.” And now we’re not talking again.

The trick to Flingshot’s flight is simple: “Insert finger into the pocket under the beak. Pull back on the feet and release.” However, it’s all fun and games until someone gets a chicken to the eye (“Caution: Chicken may fly at high speeds. Aim away from people, pet, or breakable furnishings”). So you know what Milo, I’m doing you a favor here. The thing is, you’d feel bad about yourself because you don’t have fingers. And, to be totally honest, I’m not sure you can handle Flingshot’s speed. And I’m the human, so It's totally my chicken.

In other news, I killed Danny Wood. One sad little twig remains, curled up and leaning a little. I just gave him some more plant food and moved him away from the window. "Please don’t go [Danny], you would ruin my whole world. Tell me you’ll stay never ever go a-wa-ay…" Also, I re-potted Jordan Knight and put him at the front of the room--in the spotlight where he has always belonged.