2.

Soup

I take the "shake well” instructions on food products very seriously, athletically even. I shake with my entire body, arms up and down in the air, legs kicking. I’ve done it this way for years, fueled by a strange fear of under-shaking. There’s no warm up, no lead-in, I grab the bottle or can or box and immediately throw my arms in the air. There has been some spilling, a little splashing, but overall the system has worked well for me.

So this afternoon I casually walked the short distance across my kitchen, grabbed the box of tomato and roasted red pepper soup from the fridge, and, in my systematic fit of shaking, sprayed soup all over just about every inch of the room. It must have looked amazing: a woman alone in her kitchen wildly flinging red soup across the floor, cabinets, countertop, and stove—tomato running down her arm, a little on her cheeks. I stood in the middle of it for a moment, genuinely and entirely amused. It was a great moment of disruption that stopped me, had me completely frozen. One of those moments where you give the hidden camera the "did you see that?" look, imaginary audiences laughing and shaking their heads knowingly.